Bunter the Ventriloquist by Frank Richards.

Published October 1961 by Cassell & Co

Illustrated by C. H. Chapman.

This pleasing novel was a story just begging to be written. Billy Bunter’s gifts are few. Hopeless at Latin, & a dud at games, the only skills of which he can boast are eating & sleeping.

Bunter does, however, possess another skill, that of ventriloquism. For years at Greyfriars mysterious, invisible dogs had growled at startled fellows, & disembodied voices had been heard.

Bunter has written home to ask for a remittance. Mr Quelch, fearing that Bunter’s original ideas on orthography are a reflection upon his teacher, detains him until the letter is written correctly. So impressed is Mr Bunter by this letter, free from the customary howlers, that he promises his son he will send him £2 if he hears he has played for the junior eleven.

This story features yet another of those ferocious ruffians that haunt the lanes around Greyfriars. Jimmy the Spiv! This man has attacked Prout, who, but for the timely arrival of Mr Quelch, would have fared badly. Although grateful to his rescuer, Prout is aware that he has not cut a very heroic figure – this results in certain coolness between the two beaks. Bunter is also annoyed at Prout!

A shocked Mr Prout hears the voice of Mr Quelch abusing him through his study door. Later, Quelch hears the voice of Prout, referring to him as a “jackanapes” through his door. Relations between the two beaks sink to a very low ebb.

Chunkleys Stores receive a phone call, apparently from Mr Quelch. An absurd assortment of goods, including balloons & potatoes; is ordered; to be delivered personally to Mr Quelch in his form room. The fat ventriloquist is warming to his work.

As usual, luck comes to the fat owl’s aid, just as his trickery is discovered. The two beaks kiss & make up. All should be merry & bright, but of course, the fatuous owl cannot leave well alone. The story ends with a mysterious mewing in the form room from an invisible cat. This time Quelch isn’t fooled!